Lonetrek region – Okela constellation
Tsuguwa system – Planet VI
Caldari Navy Assembly Plant Station
27 December YC 126
I was planning another Okela patrol when I realised that I didn’t have a Heron in case I find a sleeper cache.
“Shopping time!” I called out, waking up Aura.
“Again?” she said, surprised, and added hastily, “Not that I object.”
“We have run out of Herons, remember?” I said, loading the capsule into an Ibis and undocking.
“Indeed. Why are you in a corvette, by the way?”
“Because it is free and because I do not plan to return in it back to Tsuguwa. I will be flying a Heron.”
“Hmm… Will one Heron be enough?” asked Aura.
That gave me a pause. One could easily lose a ship exploring a sleeper cache, if my recent experience was any guide.
“Yeah, you are right,” I agreed, “Ideally I should have two or three of them in reserve but I don’t fancy making three roundtrips to Jita.”
“Why don’t you just haul them all at once?”
“For that I need to fly a hauler. By the way, can I fly a hauler?”
I checked my skills and found that I had Caldari Hauler trained to level I. That meant that I could fly a Badger or a Tayra.
I nodded, “It’s a good option.”
The Forge region – Kimotoro constellation
Jita system – Planet IV – Moon 4
Caldari Navy Assembly Plant
In Jita I bought three Herons with this fit.
[Heron, Heron - SC Limited Sleeper Cache] Damage Control II Type-D Restrained Capacitor Flux Coil Relic Analyzer II Data Analyzer II 5MN Cold-Gas Enduring Microwarpdrive Type-E Enduring Cargo Scanner Small Memetic Algorithm Bank II Small Thermal Shield Reinforcer I Small EM Shield Reinforcer I Small Shield Booster II x1 Medium Azeotropic Restrained Shield Extender x1 Eutectic Compact Cap Recharger x1 Stalwart Restrained Shield Boost Amplifier x1
Then I checked the haulers’ attributes and grunted in exasperation, “Their cargo holds are too small for three Herons. I need just another 350 cubic metres to fit everything in. Actually, can I just make the stuff stick out of the hold, if it doesn’t fit?”
Aura made round eyes, “No, you can’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“As sure as a navigational AI can be! If cargo juts out beyond the dimensions of the vessel, it poses a danger to stations and other ships.”
“But we can hang a red flag on the protruding part to warn others.”
Aura rolled her eyes, “Vlad, why don’t you simply buy an expanded cargo hold and avoid all the unpleasantness with the docking control tower?”
“Alright, alright,” I grumbled, “let’s spend half a million ISK on a cargo hold expansion where we could use a two-kredit flag.”
“But you don’t have to buy a Tech II variant; Tech I will be quite sufficient.”
“If I am buying it at all, I want the best option,” I replied testily.
Aura just sighed with resignation, although I thought she was quite satisfied with my choice.
I bought a Tayra and looked at it critically, “It looks like a box.”
I added an expanded cargo hold, and shook my head “Still a box. So it will be its name then – Flying Box.”
With that I loaded all purchases into the hauler and returned to Tsuguwa.
Lonetrek region – Okela constellation
Ichinumi system
28 December YC 126
I was finally ready (or so I thought) for any site which I could encounter in hi-sec, and went on a patrol. On my way I found all the regular goings-on – Homefront operations, Guristas bases and wormholes. Suddenly, in quiet cul-de-sac Ichinumi system I found two cosmic signatures which were classified as gas sites.
“Aura, look, gas sites!” I said excitedly.
Aura looked at me with bored expression, “And?”
“I’ve heard they are very lucrative.”
“So what? You don’t have skills, you don’t have equipment and, anyway, mining is boring.”
“What skills and equipment am I missing?” I asked.
Aura looked at me in astonishment, “You aren’t serious, are you?”
I shrugged, “Why not? I can try anything once.”
“You have already tried mining and said it was like watching the paint dry.”
“I did, but harvesting gas is like laughing all the way to the bank. Or so they say.”
Aura made a grimace and said reluctantly, “Okay, alright, you need Mining trained to level IV and Gas Cloud Harvesting trained to level I. It will allow you to use Gas Cloud Scoop I which you don’t have anyway.”
“Is there Gas Cloud Scoop II?”
“Yes, there is.”
“And what’s the difference?” I wondered.
“Tech II module will allow you to extract gas almost twice faster than Tech I.”
“And the requirements?”
Aura made a one-shoulder shrug, “Gas Cloud Harvesting V”.
“Easy!” I exclaimed. “You go look for the scoops on the market, and I’ll use the injectors to get up to speed with Mining and Cloud Gas Harvesting.”
“But just two days ago you refused to use injectors to train Advanced Weapon Upgrades and now you are going to throw them at training a mining skill?” Aura asked incredulously.
“But of course. Training Advanced Weapon Upgrades was not cost-effective, while I expect the profit from that cloud to cover the cost of the skill injectors and the modules.”
Aura gave up and 30 minutes later I was flying a Venture equipped with two Gas Cloud Scoop II modules. I warped to the bookmarked gas sites and started huffing. I had to admit that ‘laughing all the way to the bank’ was a nice metaphor which did not compensate for the boredom of the process. Aura scoffed and demonstratively turned herself off. I was left with the company of the gas cloud which I enjoyed in moderation. Three times I had to warp to the local station to unload my haul of Golden Mykoserocin. When my mining hold was full again, I called it a day.
I woke up Aura and said, “Look, it’s really a treasure trove – Ƶ150,000,000 in three hours!”
Aura was sceptical, “It’s less than what we got from the Superior Sleeper Cache.”
“But we didn’t see a Sleeper Cache today,” objected I. “If we need money then a cloud is as good as a cache. And remember, we have not mined it out completely.”
Aura snorted, “And how are you going to get your money for this cloud? There are 20,000 cubic metres of gas and you don’t have a hauler big enough to transport it to Jita.”
I had to admit it was a problem but I made a brave face and declared that it was a problem for another day.
Lonetrek region – Okela constellation
Tsuguwa system – Planet VI
Caldari Navy Assembly Plant Station
29 December YC 126
Purkkoken Honuken called me and asked to come to his office urgently.
“This thing with the ambassadors is blowing out of proportion,” he said instead of a greeting. “After you demolished Gallente transmission tower there was an outcry about smothering free press. That was an expected side effect but now the Feds have sent a battleship to our space ‘to practice manoeuvres’.”
“Wait a minute,” I interrupted, “Can they do it? Won’t the sentry guns on our gates stop a hostile military vessel?”
“Ha, have you ever tried to ‘stop’ a battleship. Slow they may be, but they’ll just warp away before any significant damage can be done. And if you can’t destroy a ship there is no point in shooting at it. All empires have a kind of an unwritten agreement that the navy ships in small numbers can move through the gates unmolested. Anyway, the fact that Gallente dispatched a whole battleship shows that they want to send a strong message, a message along the lines ‘we will not tolerate brazen attacks on Gallente free press’ and blah-blah-blah. We have to react, as inaction will be seen as a sign of weakness. That’s where you come in.”
“And what kind of reaction am I supposed to display?” I asked cautiously.
“Nothing radical, just go and ‘manoeuvre’ alongside the battleship. The closer the better. But by no means shoot at it.”
“What if they shoot at me?”
“Nah,” Purkkoken waved his hand dismissively, “initiating aggression in Caldari space would definitely be over the top. Then we will be justified in destroying their vessel.”
“In such case I expect a compensation for my lost ship, or a share of loot and salvage from the Gallente battleship.”
Purkkoken hesitated, “This is unlikely, as its part of your risk but, honestly, I don’t expect it will come to a firefight.”
Somewhat reluctantly I accepted the mission and boarded the capsule. There I explained the mission to Aura and she was not impressed either.
After some deliberation she said, “So, you are not expected to shoot at the battleship under any circumstances?”
“Nope.”
“Then why don’t you fly a shuttle? Definitely cheaper than a destroyer.”
I chuckled, “A shuttle is a civilian ship. They don’t do ‘manoeuvres’.”
“What about a corvette?”
I looked at Aura in amazement, “It’s actually a bloody good idea. A corvette costs me nothing and, nominally, it’s a military vessel,” then I thought for a moment and said, “But if I am to be just a show pony, I better spruce up the clunker.”
With that, I boarded an Ibis and jumped through two systems to buy a corvette SKIN licence, which was much more expensive than the ship itself.
Aura and I were appreciating the new image when she asked, “And what about the name?”
“Oh, thanks for reminding,” I said, “It won’t do to fly this mission in a generic ‘Vladimir Korff’s Ibis’. Well, since we are going to do the manoeuvres, let’s call it Manoeuvrer.”
Satisfied with the result, we set out on the mission.
Lonetrek region – Okela constellation
Iidoken system – Mission location
As I approached the acceleration gate, Neocom showed an incoming message:
Attention, you are approaching a Gallente Federation vessel on official exercises. Turn back now.
I winked at Aura, “Looks like the right place,” and activated the gate.
When we arrived to the deadspace pocket, first thing I noticed was a Dominix-class battleship leisurely orbiting an anchored tower. At the same time my comms screen lit up and I saw a Gallente officer angrily shouting at me, “Manoeuvrer, leave this deadspace pocket immediately. You are interfering with Galente Federation vessel’s manoeuvres.”
I raised my eyebrow and said icily, “Excuse me, officer, but I have a booking for this pocket for 11:00-12:00 timeslot on 29 December YC 126 to perform manoeuvres. Aura, what’s our booking number?”
“A89595C8-7F1B-4E66-823A-6A69F652ED98”, replied Aura without missing a beat.
“So, you see,” I continued, “for all I know, it is you who interferes with my exercises.”
Having said that I willed the Ibis to approach the battleship.
The officer scowled at me, “I don’t know anything about bookings. We are not required to book a stretch of empty space.”
“That’s where you are mistaken, officer. It may be empty but it is Caldari sovereign space and we set the rules here. Besides, what kind of manoeuvres can this coffin of yours do? All you are capable of is flying in a straight line and circling a button. The Ibis, on the other hand, is much more agile and has a wider repertoire of manoeuvres. Let me show you,” I smiled evilly and set the corvette on the intercept course.
“Don’t approach our vessel,” the officer yelled in panic, “We will be forced to defend ourselves.”
“See,” I said conversationally, ignoring the warning, “how I approached your ship maintaining a high angular velocity so that your turrets could not track me. And now that I am just 500 metres away from you, I’ll start running tight circles around your hull, completely under your guns.”
At this point Aura waved at me silently and produced a virtual sign reading ‘Purkkoken says it’s enough’.
I nodded and continued, “So now, without an escort, the only defense you have against me is your drones, but I shouldn’t really give you hints, should I?” I smiled good-humoredly. “By the way, my manoeuvre instructor is telling me that I am doing great, and that I’ve completed my program for the day. Your navigational skills, on the other hand, are a bit rusty, so feel free to keep practicing.”
The Gallente officer’s face became red as he opened his mouth for a response, but I promptly ended the connection and warped to the star gate.
“That was a rather juvenile way of having the last word in an argument,” said Aura, and giggled.
I laughed, “I call it outmanoeuvring an opponent.”
Lonetrek region – Okela constellation
Tsuguwa system – Planet VI
Caldari Navy Assembly Plant Station
I took my time to have a lunch before going to a debriefing. So it was a goodish hour or so between my encounter with the Dominix and the moment when I set foot inside Purkkoken’s office. The agent was riveted to the screen, scrolling through the news and guffawing from time to time. Then he noticed me, launched from his chair, grabbed my hand and shook it vigorously.
“Vlad, that was fantastic! Flying a corvette was a masterstroke!” he gushed effusively.
Taken aback by such display of emotions, I said, “I’ll pass your compliments to Aura as it was her idea. Anyway, tell me what happened?”
We sat down and Purkkoken started talking, “You’ve gotta love the 24/7 news cycle, and today they went into overdrive. The Gallente probably had a journalist onboard the Gallente ship, as less than five minutes after the mission completion, there were ‘breaking news’ on all Gallente channels decrying ‘a reckless provocation’ by the Caldari Navy. They even broadcast the video of your Ibis flying toward the battleship. That was a mistake. Immediately several Caldari military experts gave interviews to our press saying that not only it was the weakest military ship, which was no match for the Dominix, but it was also armed with…” the agent choked with laughter and burbled, “with a ci-vi-li-an grade railgun and… and a mining laser! And they certainly did not miss the opportunity to call Gallente overly sensitive ninnies.”
Purkkoken could not stop laughing and had to drink a glass of water to calm himself down. Then he continued, “But that’s not all. That video with your bright-cyan Ibis streaking across the khaki-patterned battleship, is getting a lot of views. The news channels have it on high rotation. When Gallente released that video, they did not realise how striking was the contrast between the ships. Now all Caldari commentators talk about ‘a plucky little Ibis’ who showed up the Gallente Dominix. By the way, it was an awesome choice of the SKIN, I’ve never seen it on an Ibis before. For that matter, I’ve never seen an Ibis with any SKIN.”
“That’s because corvettes are not sexy and pilots do not spend kredits on adorning them,” I explained.
“What’s that SKIN called?”
“Biosecurity Responders. Do you know why I chose this particular SKIN for the mission?”
Purkkoken shook his head.
“Because,” I made a dramatic pause, “we had a pest in the backyard and I had to respond!”
Purkkoken burst out laughing, “That’s brilliant! I’ll feed that line to our reporters. They’ll have a field day! Mate, we do not disclose the names of our contractors for OPSEC reasons but if we did, you would be hailed as a hero!”
I raised an eyebrow “Can I count on a bonus as a compensation for the lost glory?”
Purkkoken chuckled, “It doesn’t work that way but maybe I can facilitate improvement of your standing with The Scope. I am sure they profited a lot from this episode.”
“But they are Gallente.”
“They have independent outlets in our space and,” he winked at me, “it never hurts to be on free media’s good side.”