Mercenary Distractions
The Citadel region — Caldari Border Zone constellation
Hatakani system — Planet VI — Moon 4
Hyasyoda Corporation Refinery station
29 June YC 127
The last mission reward was worth more than a beer or two, and a good thing it was as Immuri took his sweet time solving the Vitimala problem. During that time I became a regular at The Kyonoke Spire bar — the bartender began calling me by name, and some of the loners greeted me with a nod. I started feeling as part of the furniture when a call from Immuri finally came. Keeping in mind his warning about drinking too much, I paced myself. The result was a warm and fuzzy state of mind in which I could miss the station entrance while docking, but wouldn’t miss the station altogether.
In such a merry mood I walked into Immuri’s office and plopped into the guest chair.
“Hiya!” I said jovially. “How is Vitimala doing? Is he still guarding that honeypot?”
The agent looked at me suspiciously, but refrained from commenting on my amiable disposition and causes thereof.
“As far as I know, drones of all persuasions are not famous for making honey,” he said dryly. “As to Vitimala, he won’t guard that pot much longer if we play our cards right.”
I leaned over the table and whispered conspiratorially, “Did you find dirt on him?”
“Nah, nothing so drastic. I just started a rumour that Vitimala was assigned to drone containment duty because the HQ didn’t want him to make a mess of more important deployments. Two days ago, that rumour reached Vitimala’s ears. My contacts told me that his usual obnoxious demeanour became even less tolerable, and that he asked his flag lieutenant to organise a meeting with HQ. By all signs, he is ready to move on, but we need to ensure that he is replaced with a competent officer.”
“Do you have anyone in mind?”
“I actually do. The problem is, he is bogged down dealing with a mercenary force hired by Guristas. It’s a delicate situation, you know. The mercenaries do not identify themselves as Guristas, so Navy can only take them out when they are caught red-handed which doesn’t happen often. You, on the other hand, being a capsuleer, are not bound by Rules of Engagement…”
I saw where the conversation was going and suddenly sobered up.
“Wait a moment,” I interrupted Immuri. “I am still bound by piracy laws.”
“Oh, don’t worry. There are no capsuleers in those ships, so you won’t be CONCORDed,” Immuri reassured me.
“I can still be sentenced and jailed for piracy by the State.”
“Well, if you attack the mercs in full view of a major station or a star gate which captures the whole shebang on certified recording equipment, maybe the State Prosecutor will take a mild interest in the affair. But this mission will take place deep in space, away from prying eyes. No one will ever know that it was you who popped the mercs.”
“No one, except the mercs,” I said pointedly. “And what prevents them from providing combat logs to the authorities and lodging a complaint against a certain capsuleer?”
Immuri laughed, “Vlad, please. Do you really believe that a shady mercenary corporation with known links to Guristas will want to attract attention of Law to their operations?”
“Probably not, if they really are a shady mercenary corporation with known links to Guristas. How do I know it’s true?”
Immuri shrugged his shoulders, “The same way you know it’s true for any other mission — you either trust your agent or you don’t.”
“Hmm…” I mused. “If you put it this way…”
Seeing that I was still hesitant, Immuri added, “Let me sweeten the deal for you. How about I throw in a 120% bonus if you complete this mission in six hours?”
“Mmm… Tempting,” I murmured. “Make it 130% and I’ll take the mission.”
“125,” countered Immuri.
“128,” pushed I.
“Deal!” conceded the agent and shook my hand.
“Alright,” I said standing up. “Send me the coordinates and I’ll see what mess I have got myself into this time.”
The Citadel region — Caldari Border Zone constellation
Hatakani system — Mission location
As I was undocking in my destroyer, Aura greeted me and asked, “What are we doing today, Cap?”
“Breaking the law,” I replied glumly.
“Which one?”
“The Piracy Law.”
“Whew! Did you join Guristas?”
I chuckled, “On the contrary, I am going to fight them.”
“Wait a moment,” Aura said, confused. “How can you break The Piracy Law by fighting pirates?”
I explained the peculiar circumstances of the mission to her.
“So, shall I delete the combat logs after the mission?” asked Aura, ever-practical.
“Not if you want to receive the mission reward from Hyasyoda. Besides, I don’t believe we can delete the logs — they should be read-only by design.”
Aura snorted, “No one has designed infinite memory yet. If I turn on the debug mode, the memory will be flooded with all kinds of rubbish until it gets full.”
“And how does that help us? We’ll just end up with a lot of rubbish in addition to our combat log.”
“Nah-ah. The logging never stops. It will just start from the beginning of the memory, overwriting the oldest logs. So, if you run the debug mode long enough, it will overwrite the latest combat log.”
“And how long does it take?”
“Mmm…” Aura made a quick calculation. “A month or two, if you don’t shut down the ship.”
“What? That’s plenty of time for any investigator to arrest the ship and extract the logs.”
Aura shrugged, “That’s the best option I’ve got. If you want to get rid of the logs sooner, just go and pod yourself. After all, the logs are stored in the capsule, not the ship.”
“Erm… I think I’ll take my chances,” I replied. “But after we have sent a copy of the logs to Immuri, keep running that debug mode.”
When we arrived at the mission location, I looked at the overview in disbelief.
“And all that fuss was about two Pithi Infiltrators and one Invader?”
“And one outpost and one control tower,” added Aura.
At that moment, a gruff voice said in the local channel, “Hey, egghead. You’ve got no business here. Get off the grid!”
Opening the local channel, I asked Aura in a concerned tone, “Aura, do you see mighty missile batteries?”
“No, Cap,” she replied dutifully.
“Do you see fearsome station guns?” I continued in a singsong voice.
“No, Cap.”
“Do you see deadly battleships and cruisers?”
“No, Cap.”
“Then what do you see?”
“I see,” Aura made a dramatic pause, “a bunch of dickheads whose mouths are bigger than their brains.”
“Oh, that’s a good one,” I said appreciatively.
Aura bowed theatrically, “Thank you, Captain.”
“That’s enough!” growled the gruff voice and the Pithis sped toward me.
They were 70 klicks away. None of them got closer than 60 kilometres to me. Each Infiltrator was alphaed; the Invader took two hits before exploding. I then waited for reinforcements.
“Hey, Cap,” said Aura. “Hyasyoda says this is it. We can go back.”
“What? Do you mean those three clowns were all they’d got?”
“Apparently. Are we going back now?”
“Not yet. The outpost and the tower surely have sensors and have recorded this little skirmish. I’d like to ensure that no one has these combat logs except Hyasyoda Security Department.”
I have replaced Spike with iron charges in my railguns and targeted the outpost. And then the control tower. Five minutes later, there was plenty of evidence that neutral ships and structures were attacked and destroyed, floating balls of rubbish being a telltale sign. None of it, though, had my name on it.